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    Moochies Story


    Have you ever heard of some little creatures known to man in the
    dawn of ages as the Moochies? These little creatures and the
    land in which they dwell has been turned into a fable as time
    passed by, just like pixies, trolls and their kind was.

    This is due to the interesting way in which man remembers things
    not meant to be remembered. Things always meant to be forgotten
    by man as time passed on. It would be wrong to say that he
    remembers - likewise it would be wrong to say that he forgets.
    He remembers AND forgets. Remembers by writing fables and
    stories of things which once were - and maybe will be again.
    Forgets by reducing these fables and stories to pure fiction.

    The Moochies are for real. They have just been forgotten along
    the course of history, but they are remembered in the stories
    and a few very, very old books. And that is probably for the
    better - man is the most destructive creation roaming the
    surface of this planet. Had the Moochies been remembered in more
    than the stories, their existence today would be very doubtful.
    Luckily, they live in the best of health in the village of Golin
    in The Forgotten Land.

    The Moochies are an interesting little folk. They're just about
    the size on an apple. Their weight varies from each individual,
    but the average is about 2-4 pounds. The colour of their skin is
    spread all across the rainbow, each Moochie different from the
    other. They usually live about 550-750 years, enabling them to
    become 8-10 times older than most of us.

    At first sight your ordinary moochie would seem a hermaphrodite,
    at least to us. They don't mind this crude assumption since they
    are thougt to believe the same about us.

    The Moochies are a highly learned and utmost intelligent people.
    Back in the dark ages they foresaw the danger in man's struggle
    for technical development and his craving for modernizing. That
    man's struggle was to result in the modern society as we know it
    the year of 1990 was common knowledge among the Moochies already
    about 1050 A.D.

    Prophecies of man's modern society was made by the wise men
    among the Moochies. The prophecies called upon the attention of
    Moochie magicians, sorcerers and other studying the course of
    man's future.

    Everybody with a sense numbered higher than six and wearing a
    pointed hat gathered together to study and predict man's destiny
    in the world they both shared. Aided by complex mathemagical
    chants, understood only by very few people today, they reached
    the enevitable conclusion that man was doomed. The only clear
    solution was to have stayed back in the ocean and never growed
    lungs nor brains. That was obviously a bit too late to correct

    The Moochies decided to turn their backs to the whole mess and
    go to a life in peace and luxury in The Forgotten Land. Not that
    they didn't live in peace as it were - man had trouble enough
    fighting himself in the name of development - but they just
    didn't care that much about him anymore.

    Man did not know too much about the Moochies then either. Of
    course he knew of their existense, but that was about all. The
    Moochies kept to themselves and since they lived in the forest,
    it was hard to spot them. Their skin colours did their job of
    protecting against interested eyes, too; they usually blended in
    with the colour of the foliage. That and their small size made
    them nearly invisible to the human eye. There were also bigger
    and more attractive sights in the forest then, according to man.
    Most of these sights haven't managed to survive the ongoing
    development, but they couldn't know what the future would bring
    as the Moochies did.

    The sudden disappearance of the Moochies was of no great
    concern. Some little folk living unseen by themselves in the
    forests would not be missed. Not many was bothered by the lack
    of moochies, but few wondered where they had gone, though. The
    disappearance was too sudden and too massive to be a mere
    extinction. It is not known whether anybody succeeded in finding
    the answer, but a reference to "The Forgotten Land" kept
    appearing in the stories about the little folk, told by mother
    to child through generations.

    The Forgotten Land. No road will take you there. You will have
    to fight your way through vast areas of deep and dark forests,
    climb high, impassable mountains, cross roaring rivers at the
    bottom of deep chasms, explore caverns of unknown depths, trek
    across Wales, travel through swamps and deserts and enduring
    dangers of soul-warping proportions. The point is, that The
    Forgotten Land is not represented in any tourist guide, because
    you can't get there. Not even on an American Express card.

    The Moochies managed to get there, undoubtedly aided by some
    mathemagical formulas of mindnumbing complexity, and now they
    live there in peace and harmony with other little creaturs. They
    are disturbed by no-one, and likewise they don't disturb anybody
    themselves. Prejudices against religion, sex and colour are
    unknown among the Moochies and as far as they know, only Man has
    these prejudices.

    Many years have gone by since the Moochies moved to The
    Forgotten Land. Man is still remembered, but only among the
    oldest of the old with fear and lack of understanding for the
    manipulation he is ably to impose upon the world, the Moochies
    once left.

    Chapter 1

    The leader and advisor of the Moochies, Mesmeth, is a fair and
    resonable leader, loved and charised by all of his people. He is
    the last practising magician, but there are still many magicians
    among the little people - some of whom were present when the
    prophecies about man's future was spoken - but they're all
    getting so old and senile that even the most elementary formulas
    and predictions is becoming impossible for them. They pass the
    day by conjuring up weird and strange apparitions, chat with
    them for awhile and then forget all about them, speaking
    useless predictions nobody could care less about and generally
    making a nuisance of themselves. Mesmeth has a lot of trouble
    sending all the offended apparitions back to their own planes of
    existence, since the other magicians don't know how any longer.

    If Mesmeth hadn't been so busy looking after the old magicians,
    he would probably have discovered it early enough to take
    appropiate action against it. He would have noticed how the milk
    was becoming poorer. How the eggs were scarcer. How the grass
    was less colourful. How the children cried in the long, dark
    nights. He would have noticed how Evil had seeped into The
    Forgotten Land.

    Chapter 2

    The castle Entity in the Valley of Gloom has been desolate for
    as long as the sky remembers. It was desolate long before the
    Moochies showed up in The Forgotten Land. No Moochie has ever
    felt the need to go near the castle, and therefore it was
    decided that the castle should be torn down to make The
    Forgotten Land the most beautiful place on the Earth. But
    tearing down the castle was a task too big for the Moochies.
    They kept getting hurt in mysterious ways, as if the castle was
    defending itself. Some wounds were mortal. At last no Moochie
    dared work on the castle and the demolishing was ordered

    The castle was left alone. The wise men were uncomfortable by
    the prophecies they were given by the magicians. Entity had a
    purpose more sinister than the nightmares of Hell.

    Evil came to The Forgotten Land in the shape of a lone man by
    the name of Tarai. He is one of this world's most powerful
    magicians, but he is unfortunately on the black end of the magic
    scale. His life force is running out; he is dying. His only hope
    is finding The Forgotten Land where castle Entity and the
    Moochies holds the key to eternal life.

    But how can he find the way when nobody else can? Well, the
    Moochies left our world rather hastily and as a consequence of
    this they forgot some scraps of paper wrought with mathemagical
    formulas. These papers were later found by man and eventually
    reached eyes which were able to read them. Eyes like those in
    the head of Tarai.

    Apart from the place where the Moochies had gone, the papers
    held the formula for eternal life. Once discovered it is very
    simple; eternal life is yours for the taking just by mixing a
    substance from common household items - and a Moochie. Since the
    Moochies left this world for a better one, this seems to be
    quite impossible to carry out. Tarai was not to be easily
    defeated though, he sought help in the lowest possible places
    and managed to get hold of the Devil himself.

    The Devil couldn't care less for Tarai's quest for eternal life,
    no matter how black it was. He could care about a little
    trading, though. He arranges with Tarai that he can rent and
    look after his summer residence, castle Entity, and the Devil
    will even give him the ticket to The Forgotten Land on top.

     "Don't pay me any money now, just sign your name at the dotted
    line. Yes, the line following 'I pledge my soul to thee'. Thank
    you, that will do nicely, sir.", said the Devil and put the
    contract in a pocket.

     "Selling my soul won't matter if I live forever", thought Tarai
    and grinned to himself.

    The Devil vanishes back to the lower planes to wreck some havoc
    and generally have a hell of a time. Tarai shows off with an
    evil grin that instantly frightens a couple of cows to death and
    writhes an oak tree into a knot nobody can bear to look at. He
    reads the ticket out load and time and space is warped.

    Chapter 3

    When Mesmeth finally saw the threat to The Forgotten Land, he
    realized that he had to do something, and soon. He told his
    pretty daughter, Miss.Fit, that he wanted complete peace for three
    days and three nights in order to devise a plan to drive the
    source of evil out of The Forgotten Land.

    Three days and three nights went by. A lot of thinking was done
    by Mesmeth and a lot of conjuring was done by the old, senile
    magicians. Miss.Fit called the people to a meeting at the town
    square. Everybody was looking forward to this meeting, since
    they had come to understand that something was gruesomely wrong
    in their otherwise peaceful country.

    The square was buzzing with hectic activity. The subject was
    mainly on what had happened since they all had been summoned.
    Their questions were to be answered soon enough, because Mesmeth
    had just gone up on the stand and was preparing his speech. All
    eyes were turned in his direction and the square was as quiet as
    a grave. Mesmeth coughed politely to clear his voice, and then
    he let it boom out.

     "Fellow Moochies! We face a great ordeal. We once fled the
    known world to escape the growing evil spread by man. I regret
    to inform you that evil has now entered The Forgotten Land. I
    consulted the pebbles last night, and they told me evil's shape
    and name. It is a man and he is called Tarai. He is a powerful,
    black magician."

    The Moochies were silent. Except for the old magicians who at
    once began conjuring up strange forms and making useless
    predictions about Tarai. Mesmeth gave them a tired glance before
    he continued his speech.

     "Since we are such a cute and jolly little folk, we cannot just
    set forth to hack Tarai to pieces and feed him to our dogs. That
    would screw up the myths and we would be forever banned from
    featuring in kids' comics. Our only option is to send Tarai
    back where he came from and make sure he stays. This is where
    the machine comes in."

    Two Moochies carried a box up on the stand. It looked like
    an ordinary Rubic's Cube, except it was a lot bigger and it
    seemed to glow faintly.

     "This device is Tarai's ticket back to the world he came from.
    I call it The Spellbuster. It only works once, so it is of
    utmost importance that it is done right the first time. I doubt
    I will be able to assemble this kind of equipment again"

     "What is it we're supposed to do right the first time?", a red
    Moochie with long hair wondered out loud.

     "We must choose three Moochies to travel to castle Entity -"

     "Castle Entity? I ain't going near that place!", the red
    Moochie shouted. There were loud murmurs of agreement from the

     "I know we all hate that place. But Tarai is currently living
    in castle Entity, and we have to get the SpellBuster near him
    for it to work. You have the choice between going to Entity or
    to be doomed for ever", Mesmeth tried to look as grave as

     "I see doom!", exclaimed a very old magician, but nobody payed
    him any attention in the loud argument that now sprang forth in
    the crowd. Mesmeth raised his voice again,

     "We still need to choose the three", he said ceremoniously. The
    crowd fell silent immediately. "I suggest Phil the innkeeper,
    Tom the fisher and Moser the merchant".

     "We agree!", all but the three cried. Any protests from the
    chosen ones were of course ignored. Many were already occupied
    with dragging tables, benches, food and drink out on the
    square. Now it was time to celebrate, as was tradition after a
    meeting on the square. Phil, Bob and Moser realized they
    couldn't say anything against the decision, and they decided to
    spend their last evening in Golin getting ridiculously drunk and
    listen to old Dylan spells.

    Chapter 4

    Entity was a castle after Tarai's head. It was huge, spacious
    and on a perfect location. Nobody to disturb him within miles
    from the castle.

    He had a lot of work ahead. All the evil spirits, ghosts and
    daemons which once haunted the castle had drained so much energy
    as time passed by and boredom sat in - there was nobody around
    to frighten - that their only present claim to existence was a
    few warped molecules drifting on the waves of time in the
    twisted corridors of the Entity. Tarai chanted and raved in
    black tounges for six days, restoring all energy to the spectres
    again, making every wall in the castle throb with black power.
    Souls screemed in eternal torment, daemons laughed insanely, and
    hellhounds roamed the corridors, the light from their eyes
    playing like searchlights from beacons across the dark walls.

    With all these monstrosities positioned about in the castle,
    Tarai was very confident that he would be allowed to work his
    magic undisturbed.

    He returned to his chamber to study the formular for eternal
    life. It appeared that the required Moochie was to be a young
    female. He grabbed his portable Magivision from his suitcase,
    pointed the antenna towards Golin and turned it on. The little
    screen came to life and showed a pretty picture of Golin and the
    ongoing party, all in glorious technicolour. After twisting the
    dials, turning the knobs and fiddling the buttons, Tarai finally
    focused on a pretty, young female Moochie. But in front of her
    and the old man next to her was a rather big box he knew all too
    well. The Spellbuster. The sight of the box sent cold shivers
    down his old spine. That device was cabable of sending him back
    to his own world and erase all knowledge of The Forgotten Land
    and eternal life from his memory. He had to destroy that machine
    no matter what. His plan was to be carried out a great deal
    sooner than he had estimated.

    Chapter 5

    It was still dark when Tarai set out towards Golin. After little
    more than half an hour he reached his destination. The embers of
    the earlier bonfires cast a red glow on the faces of the
    surrounding moochies who were enjoying themselves with singing
    and drinking contests.

    They were beginning to break up little by little. They hour was
    late, and tomorrow was just another working day. They thanked
    each other for a happy night and slowly began to walk home.
    Mesmeth, Gamai and four other were all seated at a table near
    the stand, talking about the day that had gone by. All of them
    were tired after the meeting and all the festivity. Especially
    the old magicians were tired, but that was probably due to the
    enormous amounts of wine they had managed to conjure up.

    All was quiet. Most of the Moochies were now home in bed,
    sleeping the night away. One of the Moochies accompanying
    Mesmeth and Miss.Fit rose, thanked for a pleasant evening and left
    for home. Mesmeth looked towards the sky and got up to follow.

     "It won't be long before dawn", he yawned and trudged toward
    his house.

    Bit, a bald, green Moochie still at the table, also glanced
    at the sky.

     "That's odd", he said with a puzzled look. The other seated at
    the table looked wonderingly at him.

     "What's so odd?", Miss.Fit asked.

     "The stars", Bit said. "They've disappeared - LOOK OUT!", he
    screemed and scrambled under the table for protection. Out of
    nowhere appeared a giant form. Bit and his three friends Bat,
    Bud and Bob forgot all good manners to ladies and ran as fast
    as they could, away from the huge monstrosity. Miss.Fit was
    stunned beyond speech. She could do nothing but stare terrified
    at the gigantic hand descending towards her.

    Chapter 6

    Tarai placed the Spellbuster on the floor. He looked quizically
    at it for a moment, and then went to a book rack to fetch a very
    old book. After thumbing through the index, he finally found
    what he was looking for. He began reciting a verse in a high,
    chanting voice. The box on the floor began to hum and its glow
    intensified. A dim haze rose around it, and the humming grew
    louder. The box was constantly changing colour, and it appeared
    to be bulging. Suddenly there was a loud bang, and the Spell-
    buster was scattered in numerous pieces all over the floor.

     "Junk", Tarai said in a patronizing voice. He smiled, and a few
    small stones in the wall cracked under the strain. He yelled a
    command in a language only understood by the foul hellish things
    which then came scuttling into the room. He spoke a few more
    words, and each part of the Spellbuster was carefully picked up
    by the little monsters.

     "Each one of you carry the key to my utter destruction. If the
    pieces are found and assembled correctly, I will be forced to
    leave this world, and you will return to the nothingness from
    which I relieved you.", he made an artistic pause and demolished
    a few of the creatures for good measure.

     "I command you to go out and hide these pieces around the
    castle. Hide them well, and let me never see any of them again.
    Go now!", he set his eyes a fire and the little mob screemed in
    terror and fled the room.

    With the Spellbuster taken care of, Tarai turned to face the
    whimpering Gaia.

     "Ah, my little Moochie! Nearly forgot all about you", he said
    conversationally. He spoke a couple of syllables of unknown
    origin. Gaia was immediately aware of the paralyzation spreading
    through her body. She couldn't move a muscle. Even her breathing
    had stopped. "I'm going to die now", she thought desperately.

     "Don't be afraid, my little cookie. Suspended animation won't
    hurt you. It's just like pulling the plug on an electric watch.
    When you put it bag in, the watch will continue it's ticking
    life where it left off.", he was apparently amused with his

     "I have even allowed your brain and your senses to remain
    functioning, so you will be able to see and hear whatever i do",
    he allowed himself an evil snicker.

     "I have a lot of preparations to carry out before I will need
    your, er.... assistance. Well, will you please sit still while I
    fetch some pots?" He howled with laughter at his own poor joke.

     "Eternity, here I come!", he shouted as he vanished out the

    Chapter 7

    It was a sad day in Golin. The Moochies were mourning the loss
    of their beautiful Miss.Fit. Mesmeth was devastated. He had not
    only lost his only daughter, but the Spellbuster was gone as
    well. That machine was their only hope of defeating Tarai. An
    old magician woke up, because he had managed to make it rain on
    the spot where he slept. He woke his fellow magicians, and they
    started the day's conjuring and predicting about Tarai. Mesmeth
    was fed up with the old fools, and he silenced them with a spell
    identical to the one which held Gaia.

    It was decided that Phil, Tom and Moser should nevertheless set
    forth on their quest to destroy Tarai. But they would have to
    recover the Spellbuster first, and rescue Miss.Fit before it was
    too late.

    They left a couple of hour later. The whole village were in low
    spirits, and they would have been even more miserable had they
    only known that it was the last time they laid eyes upon the
    three brave Moochies.

    Many days went by. The days turned into months. At last nobody
    believed in the return of their three fellows. More Moochies set
    out on their own to find their friends, but none of these
    returned either. The situation was hopeless and nobody knew what
    to do.

    One day, Mesmeth summoned a meeting on the square. Everybody was
    there, but the only sound was a bird singing nearby. Mesmeth
    ascended the stand and spoke to his people.

     "Fellow Moochies! In these hard times with so much against our
    lives, it is hard to find the light that usually shines so
    bright within our hearts. I feel guilty for this. It was I who
    ignored the sure signs of the coming disaster. Had I only
    listened", his voice trailed off. He looked much older than his
    764 years.

     "I can only suggest we try to send out some of our flock on a
    mission again". The crowd was still silent. Nobody could think
    of anything better.

    Bit suddenly rose.

     "I will do it. Me and my three friends here", Bat, Bud and
    Bob nodded in agreement. "It's time we showed Tarai what
    he's up against".

    The crowd cheered and cheered. This was what they had been
    waiting for. Somebody who actually looked forward to the quest -
     that might be what the other lacked in succeeding.

     "That's settled, then", Mesmeth was proud of Bit's offer.

    There was celebration in Golin once again. The Moochies were
    very confident that Bit and his crew would succeed in their
    quest. They had the guts.

    Original story by Martin Nyrup.
    Translated by Lars Jørgensen.


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